Alone
by SuperSabs
Summary: Regina is not a fan of being confined on the Jolly Roger with a certain collection of idiots, especially when life hands her a seriously awful load of crap.
1. Chapter 1

**Edited to change Owen's name to Greg for ease of interpretation, particularly from Emma. She wouldn't have known the name Owen. **

**Okay, readers. This one needs your help. Where do I go from here? Does anyone want to take it from here and write the next chapter?**

After three days on the Jolly Roger, Regina decided that a pirate's life was _not_ for her. She was suffering horrific flashbacks of the torture Greg had inflicted on her, she was seasick, and she was about ready to blast every one of her shipmates into oblivion. By six weeks with no luck finding Henry, she was ready to throw herself overboard. She was curled up on her bunk, gripping her knees in the most un-ladylike position imaginable. Her eyes were screwed shut and she was swallowing furiously to keep the nausea at bay. Despite her best efforts, silent tears were moistening her pillow. She desperately needed sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, there was Greg. And every little thing reminded her of Henry. Emma's laugh. Snow's eyes. Charming's insistence that good will triumph. Even the way the two idiots couldn't keep their eyes off of their long lost daughter. If she had had the strength to climb onto the deck, she was pretty sure she really would throw herself into the Never Sea and let the mermaids finish her off.

Regina was drawn out of her sorrow by Emma's cursing and Snow's annoying laugh.

"You have no idea how much I miss tampons," Emma muttered.

"I thought you still had some?" Snow questioned.

"I used those a month ago," Emma responded.

"Oh." The slight gasp at the end of Snow's response caused Emma to look at her mother. Even Regina opened her eyes to see what could be wrong.

The Evil Queen figured it out first.

"Looks like Mommy is replacing you," Regina growled before sitting up and retching into the bucket beside her bunk. She found a perverse satisfaction in watching Snow White turn a sickly shade of green. She was disappointed when the princess swallowed her bile without vomiting.

"What about you?" Emma asked, turning to Regina. "Do you have any tampons left in your purse?"

Suddenly Regina's world started spinning. "Yes." She answered, eyes wide, her voice barely a whisper. Emma was excitedly rooting through Regina's purse, so she didn't notice when Snow gasped again.

"Regina?" Snow asked.

"Please," Regina pleaded, "don't say anything."

Regina screwed her eyes shut, wondering what kind of twisted fate had landed her in this position. Sex was her weapon, after all.

By that time, Emma stood behind her mother, tampon clutched in her fist, realization dawning on her. Clearly, Regina was not happy about her condition.

"Greg?" Emma asked, her mouth speaking before her brain thought better of it. The glare she received in turn from both her mother and Regina was enough to cause Emma to apologize and leave the room with her feminine product in hand and let the two hormonal royals handle this on their own.

"How long have you known?" Snow asked her stepmother.

Regina snorted. "Why should I tell you? What difference would that make?" she growled.

"I just want to help," Snow answered, her eyes watering at Regina's cruelty.

"How? By flaunting the fact that your child's father is madly in love with you, that you would never use sex for power, and that you won't have to face a single moment of this alone?" Regina's voice was rising, and it was drawing the attention of the men on board the ship. They hadn't heard or seen much of the queen since they had set sail. Something was brewing, and they unconsciously moved closer to the cabin door, not wanting to miss a thing.

Snow raised her voice in return. "Do you think I want this right now? How am I supposed to face the demons we're seeking if Charming won't let me off this ship? You know the minute he finds out he'll try to put me on bed rest!"

Outside the cabin door, Charming was as white as a sheet. "Did she…" he tried to start, "Is she…" again he failed to complete the thought.

Killian on the other hand smacked Charming on the back and said, "Congrats, Dad," before reality collided with his brain.

"At least he cares!" Regina shouted. "I don't even know who the hell fathered this bastard, this parasite that refuses to die. I am trapped in a hell I would give anything to get out of."

Snow was aghast, "You would kill a child?" she whispered.

"A child conceived in lust and hatred?" Regina answered. "How could you wish such a thing on anyone?"

Now Killian was the one standing on the deck turning all shades of gray, "She hates me that much?"

Charming was aghast. "You and Regina?"

Now it was Gold's turn to speak, "Clearly there was no love lost between the pirate and the queen." And then he limped away, back to whatever he had been doing before the shouting of the women had attracted his attention.

Now that everyone knew, they wouldn't leave Regina alone. They brought her soup and water and begged her to eat. She yelled at them, and threw things at them, and swore in a terribly unladylike manner. But they just shook their heads sadly and had the nerve to _pity_ her. She felt utterly powerless, and she wanted nothing more than the ability to wipe the smirks off their faces. Surely they were mocking her behind her back.

"Leave me alone!" Regina shouted for the millionth time, chasing Emma out the door. "I don't want you. I want Henry," she cried, tears threatening to spill.

The last statement, uttered so quietly caused Emma to turn back into the room. The look on the blonde's face was enough to push Regina over the edge.

"How will we ever find him?" Regina sobbed. "And will he even want me now?"

"Oh, Regina," the pity in Emma's voice hardened the brunette's features, angering Emma.

"Stop it," Emma growled. "Stop despising our pity. You aren't the only one on this boat who is desperately missing Henry. We all are! Just because some idiot knocked you up, that doesn't give you an excuse to give up. How the hell do you think I felt when I was just a kid, locked in a jail cell, staring at the proof of Henry growing inside me? Don't you think I considered ending it? Is it Henry's fault he was conceived the way he was, or born where he was? No! So just stop it!" And then Emma stormed out of the cabin without waiting for a response.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the cheesy Charming speech, as requested. Please keep the ideas coming. I am drawing major blanks on this one. It should be fun to see where it goes with your help!**

_David walked into the galley to find Hook staring into a mug of coffee that had gone so far past cold it was almost solid. He had obviously been sitting there for a very long time. The Nolan in him wanted to turn around and pretend like he hadn't seen anything, but the prince inside forbade it._

_"Do you want to talk?" David found himself saying. The captain jumped, clearly unaware that he was no longer alone._

_"About what?" Killian asked._

_"I don't know, whatever is eating you alive," David answered. "Is it Regina?"_

_The pirate made a noise somewhere between a snort and a sigh._

_"I'm a pirate, Charming," he sneered. "I've left my seed at many a port; this isn't the first time a wench came crying for pity on her bastard."_

_"But Regina didn't come crying. She hasn't asked for a thing."_

_"You think I don't know that?" Hook raised his voice. "I'd do right by her. I always do." _

_"By giving her a bag of treasure? That's just appeasing your conscience. She's a mess right now. She really needs someone to step up and help her through this."_

_"Bloody hell! I can't be that person! I don't even know if the kid is mine!"_

_"Just talk to her."_

And that was how Killian, a fearless pirate, found himself trembling outside the cabin door, struggling to work up the nerve to knock. He finally took a deep breath and just opened the door without knocking. It was his ship, after all.

The sight of the once regal queen curled around a wooden bucket and smelling of bile made him stop in his tracks. Her cheeks were sunken, her skin pale. Her eyes were moist from crying, and her hair hung limply into her face, weighed down by grease. She was filthy, and rumpled, and not at all what he expected to find.

Regina looked up and something familiar crossed her face. Anger flared her nostrils and her eyes flashed.

"Get. Out."

The timbre of her voice caused Hook to smile. She was still in there. That domineering pain in his ass.

He goaded her, trying to get her to stay in that familiar place, all anger and venom, instead of slipping back into the shell of a woman that she was becoming.

"Well, I see someone is in a good mood this morning," he teased.

It didn't work. Her mask fell, and she whispered, "Please, just go."

He almost did. Hatred, violence, passion- he could handle those. But sadness, pain, humanity? He'd given up facing those years ago.

But something caused him to pull the door shut behind him instead, leaving Regina no choice but to talk to him. Which she stalwartly refused to do. She turned away from him and stared at the wall, analyzing a particularly dark knot in the wood.

Killian couldn't find words. He had no idea what he was doing, or why he took that stupid prince's advice. Again, he nearly turned to leave. But this time, he found himself talking, surprising even himself.

"Is it true?" He knew the answer; nothing else would have reduced the queen to her present state.

She growled at him, not turning as she spoke to the wall. "Of course not," she answered sarcastically. "I was just so doggone jealous of Snow's perfect little life that I decided to pretend that I was pregnant to steal some of her glory."

"Is it mine?"

That simple question caused the anger to flare up again. She whipped around, stepping into his personal space, her breath reeking as she came nearly nose to nose with the pirate.

"I. Don't. Know." She growled, a low threatening sound like a wolf ready to pounce. "And you. Don't. Care." Her words were spaced out, almost like each word was a separate curse, turning his blood cold. He delighted in the feeling, smiling in spite of himself. This was the queen he knew.

Her anger flared even deeper at his smirk. "You smile when I admit to you that I've had other men?" Without waiting for a reply, she pushes him into the door, crashing her lips into his, forcing her vomit crusted tongue between his lips. She grabs his waistband, forcing her hand lower, eliciting a reaction from him. Then she steps away, her eyes flashing.

"It meant nothing." She glowers at him. Then she shoves him away from the door, and for the first time in weeks she leaves her cabin.

Captain Hook is left standing in shock, his body painfully aroused, his mouth desperately desiring a sprig of mint. And yet, he smiles.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews and ideas. While I already have the backstory in my head (I know who the possible daddy's are) but how and when that comes into play in this story, I don't know. I need your help moving this story forward. Thanks for the suggestion about Emma trying to call Regina out on BS, and for the suggestion of Charming and Snow talking about their situation. Keep the ideas coming!**

"So Hook thinks he's the dad?"

Emma's cut-to-the-chase attitude, combined with the adrenaline surge from her confrontation with Killian, shocked Regina into answering immediately.

"He may have contributed genetic material, but that does _not_ make him a dad." Regina turned away, trying to leave Emma, but she stopped, unsure where to go, not wanting to face Killian who was still in her cabin.

"Damn boat," she muttered.

"Don't let Hook hear you insult his ship."

Regina turned back to Emma, surprised at her smiling attitude. Instead of uttering the scathing remark she had intended, she simply ran her hand through her hair.

"Damn _ship_ needs a shower," she said, sneering on the word 'ship'.

Emma realized that something had changed. Regina was talking. She was out of the cabin. She even acknowledged her need for a bath. So Emma kept pushing.

"So the baby _is_ Hook's?"

"It's one of the possibilities," Regina rolled her eyes, "but you knew that. Seeing as you managed to breed, I'm assuming you know how this condition comes about?" Regina paused, one eyebrow raised, waiting for Emma to nod her assent.

Emma had no idea where Regina was going with this particular string of insults, so she just rolled her eyes. Regina took that as permission to go on.

"Unless you want me to list all the times, locations, and possible sperm donors, I suggest you refrain from asking again."

Something in Regina's tone caused Emma to stop pressing. The last thing she wanted to picture was Henry's adoptive mother writhing naked in Hook's arms. Drat, now she was picturing it.

Regina laughed at the look of horror that crossed Emma's face.

"I'm going to wash my hair." And with that, Regina squeezed past Emma and was gone.

After Regina went up on deck, Emma decided to go check on her parents. She was standing outside their door, about to knock, when she heard her mother moan, followed by grunting (was that her or David?) and then a muffled cry of ecstasy that made it painfully clear to Emma what was going on.

"Gross!" She couldn't help saying it. And then she was mentally back in Storybrooke, remembering walking into the apartment with Henry and catching Snow and David in bed. And she crumpled to the ground because right now, she would do ANYTHING to have Henry back so they could be grossed out together over his grandparents' extracurricular activities.

"Did you hear something?" David asked his wife. And then she giggled because it was absurd to ask when she had a pillow pressed into her face.

"Do you think we've been caught?" Mary Margaret whispered.

The couple listened for a moment, but heard nothing, so Snow nestled her head on Charming's chest and sighed.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" the prince asked.

"Besides the obvious?" she smirked as she ran her hand down his chest.

"My charm?"

She laughed, and then sobered.

"For always finding me," she looked into his eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I'm afraid of losing you again."

"Oh, Snow!" he pulled her into a hug, "I'm not going anywhere!"

"Yes, you are. Tomorrow you're going with Gold to talk to that Indian he told you about. I want to go with you."

"We talked about this," David whined.

"I know," Snow said, "But I don't want you out of my sight. I need you! I can't do this alone." The unspoken phrase 'like Regina' hung in the air.

"But it could be dangerous!" His voice was rising, attracting Emma's attention on the other side of the door.

"You've seen me fight. And I was already pregnant when we took back the kingdom."

"What?" Charming was dumbfounded.

"I never told you that?" his wife asked sheepishly.

"No!" he replied somewhat angrily, "I never would have let you fight!"

"But I _did_ fight, and Emma is fine, and this baby will be fine, too."

"But I can't risk losing this child, too."

"We have her, though." Snow said, "Emma found us."

"But we missed so much…"

And Emma was crying now, because her dad already viewed the new baby as a replacement for missing her childhood.

Sometime later, Emma rose to her feet and returned to her cabin.

"We have to find Henry." Regina was actually cleaning when Emma entered, and she wasted no time letting Emma know what was on her mind.

"I'm trying!" Emma growled. Obviously Regina had failed to notice her tear swollen eyes.

"But I _have_ to tell him I love him. He _has_ to know I love him. He _has_ to know that this," Regina gestured to her still flat abdomen, "was a mistake."

"You should have thought of that before you climbed on top of the captain," Emma muttered before slapping her hand over her mouth, horrified that she'd let that slip out.

Regina did not let that comment slide. She stepped right up into Emma's face, pleased that the blond didn't back down.

Regina's eyes flashed with anger. Emma realized too late that right now, Regina was either depressed or angry. And in this moment, angry was definitely winning. And that is why Emma was floored by the words that poured out of Regina's mouth.

"I didn't have a choice. I _had_ to be in control. I couldn't let my mother win again. And I already told you, it might," her nostrils flared, "not," her eyes flashed, "be his."


	4. Chapter 4

**Just so you know, I don't have any "ships" in my head, so there are a lot of potential pairings and I haven't planned it out in advance so don't even start predicting. Also, I know some of you will be unhappy with the revelation of possible father. But don't say it wasn't foreshadowed- read chapter one again. **

Emma wasn't sleeping. She couldn't get the day's events and revelations out of her head. Her mom pregnant. A baby that would get to grow up in Mommy and Daddy's care, a prince or princess to replace the one they had lost: her. How did she feel? Numb. It was inevitable. She had always been replaceable, from that first foster home all the way up to her last job in Boston. Nothing permanent. She once thought that maybe she'd settle down in Storybrooke, but then she had decided to leave. Henry wouldn't let her. And look how well that had turned out? Now she was trapped on a boat with the Evil Queen, the Dark One, Captain Hook, and her parents, who just happened to be Snow White and Prince Charming. Her mental health was hanging on by a thread.

Emma kicked off her blankets and padded out of the cabin to head on deck for some fresh air. She really needed to clear her head. When she stepped onto the deck, she saw a solitary figure silhouetted in the moonlight. She leaned against the door frame, hiding in the shadows, observing. Something in the slump of the Captains shoulders indicated extreme fatigue. So why wasn't he in bed like everyone else? Maybe he was also reeling from today's events. But why? As far as Emma knew, he had no interest in anyone on the ship. Well, maybe not everyone. He had an annoying habit of flirting with her, turning every conversation into sexual innuendos. And with Neal dead, and Henry missing, Killian was the only one she could talk to. Her roommate had spent the entire voyage complaining, vomiting, and sleeping. And her mom and dad? Well, they were just too happy to finally have each other again.

So what was bothering the captain? Could he really be worried about how she'd take the news of her parents' pregnancy? Part of her hoped so. She desperately wanted someone to care. Emma was about to shut the door and push herself out of the shadows to seek comfort with Killian when she heard crying from below deck. Something pulled her down the stairs to investigate. There she found Regina gasping on her cot, struggling through another terrible nightmare.

Emma didn't know what to do. Regina hated to admit weakness, becoming angry if Emma mentioned her troubled sleep. But this time, Regina was scaring her, so against her better judgment, Emma slipped to the floor beside Regina's palette and shook the queen awake.

Regina was in the middle of a blood curdling scream when Emma finally roused her. She instinctively jerked away from Emma's touch before her horror struck eyes blinked and she took a deep breath.

"Thank you," Regina whispered.

Emma nearly replied with a snarky '_It's about time'_, but she realized that for whatever reason, Regina was open right now and with a little encouragement she just might be able to coax a bit of that bottled up emotion to the surface.

Emma wasn't sure why she was doing it, but she sat down next to Regina and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Regina started. "Maybe?" she asked, demonstrating a strange vulnerability that Emma had never seen before.

Emma felt a strange urge to reach out and touch Regina's back, rubbing small comforting circles without even realizing what she was doing.

"I'm scared," Regina whispered. She stared at her hands, not looking at Emma, as if making eye contact would shatter her. And maybe it would. Her hold on her sanity was just as tenuous as Emma's in that moment.

"It's okay," Emma answered, somehow doubting the truth of her statement. She and Regina were both far from okay. "What are you scared of?"

"Greg," Regina whispered, barely audible. "He has Henry."

"And he nearly killed you," Emma whispered, trying to fill in the gaps.

"And…" Regina's voice failed, but she gestured toward her abdomen in a way that made Emma's eyes widen.

"It's Greg's?" Emma's voice rose above a whisper, her hand stopped circling Regina's back, her eyes widened in shock.

"Maybe," Regina whispered, leaning into Emma's hand.

Emma's hand restarted drawing lazy circles, and Regina went on.

"Probably," she stated. "Yes," she whispered.

"Not Hook?" Emma whispered back.

"I don't think so."

The two women sat in silence, processing the information.

"I'm worried that Henry will think I'm replacing him."

Regina changed the topic so suddenly; it took Emma a moment to catch up.

"He would never," Emma started.

"Don't you?"

Again, it took Emma's mind a moment to catch up to Regina's question. Of course she felt like her parents were replacing her.

"That's because they _are_. David basically told Mary Margaret."

"Did he?" Regina was strangely taking sides with the woman she had spent most of her life hating. Emma blew out a puff of air, something like a frustrated sigh. She knew that her parents loved her, as much as they could. She knew it wasn't fair to be jealous of the new baby. But she was anyway.

"It's not fair," Emma muttered.

"No," Regina answered, "it's not." And Emma wasn't sure if Regina meant Emma's situation or her own. But in the end, it didn't matter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Make sure you read Chapter Four because I posted these real close together. Keep your reviews and ideas coming, please. I still have no idea where I'm going with this.**

Killian practically growled while pulling the rope, causing Emma to laugh.

"It's not funny!" he protested. "This ship is not meant to hold all these hormones! It's built for pirates, not human incubators!"

"At least you don't have to share your cabin with the most temperamental one of all!"

Hook stared at Emma, a look of mocking look of condescension.

"Because that is so much worse than sharing with the monster who ripped out Milah's heart!"

"Touche."

And somehow they were much too close, nearly nose to nose. Killian's eyes flashing in anger at the long past memory, and Emma's heart racing because… Well, she honestly didn't know why her heart was beating so fast.

"That's right, love," Killian whispered, grabbing her ass with his hand.

She turned her head away, frustrated by her emotional turmoil. She was all over the map, loving and hating everyone in turn. Drained of all energy, missing Henry and Neal, every little act of discord felt worthy of a smack down, and every little kindness made her tremble inside. But what was this? The captain wasn't being kind; he was frustrated and angry, just like she was. Maybe that's what was going on. She was just appreciating the shared emotions.

Emma bolted down the stairs, retreating to her cabin to get some space. Her body was becoming aroused and she hated it for betraying her. She wasn't particularly fond of Hook. She was desperate for some male company- that was all.

When she rushed into her room, she was startled to see Regina still getting dressed.

"Oh gads," she moaned, falling onto her bunk, burying her face in a pillow. She wanted to be alone!

Regina was surprised by Emma's sudden arrival, and even more shocked by her face plant into bed. She walked over to her roommate, kneeling beside her in much the same way Emma had been doing for her night after night as she suffered through nightmares and nausea. Regina had to admit, although the sickness still wasn't letting up as she approached fourteen weeks, it was a lot easier to handle with Emma by her side.

Regina reached out and ran her hands through Emma's hair, absentmindedly twisting it into ringlets. She didn't notice when Emma turned her head and opened her eyes, watching silently. She didn't talk, she didn't need to. She just wanted to let Emma know that whatever was wrong, she would listen.

Emma wasn't talking, so Regina's mind wandered. She thought back over the last two months, and how much she had shared with Emma. Piece by piece, nightmare by nightmare, she had bared her soul to this woman she had vowed to hate. Emma was the only one who knew what twisted hell Cora had put her through as a child. Emma was the only one who knew how desperately she had wanted to avoid marrying Snow's father. Emma was the only one who knew who Greg really was, and that Regina had killed his father because she couldn't adopt him. That adorable little boy that had opened a longing in her heart. And now? Regina shuddered. That boy was no longer adorable. No longer little. He had tortured her in ways her mother could only imagine. The sex- that had barely registered on her punishment scale. The anger and frustration in his frenzied grappling actually fueled her desire, and in the end she was able to humiliate him despite being tied to the table. It wasn't the first time she'd had to separate her own desires from what her body was doing. But the other thing, the electrical current- that had been unbearable. Even now it haunts her dreams, every nerve ending on fire, indescribable pain. She had resisted for so long. But in the end, she had given up and told him what he wanted to know. And now, that bastard had _her_ little boy in his clutches. When they finally found him, she would make him pay in a way she had _never_ hurt anyone. And she was an expert at causing pain.

Regina was distracted from her thoughts by a low moan from Emma. Without thinking, Regina pushed Emma's hair aside and started massaging her back, kneading the tension out of her shoulders. Regina felt Emma relax under her hands, and it didn't take long for her to realize that she had fallen asleep. So Regina stood up and covered her roommate with a blanket. She decided that a nap would do her good as well. They really weren't sleeping enough at night.

Hours later, Emma and Regina emerged from their cabin looking a bit more refreshed. Ever the pervert, Hook was the first to notice.

"Aye, looks like Regina fixed your problem, love."

Emma's nostrils flared, a comeback slowly building. But Regina beat her to it.

"That I did," she purred, rubbing her hand up Killian's leather clad chest and pulling his ear, "I rubbed that tension right out," she lowered her voice even more, "and then we slept together." She ended with a smirk, her hand traveling lower. She felt his reaction and smiled. She pushed herself into his chest, rubbing her hips right where he needed it.

"I can take care of you, too." Regina reveled in the power she held, knowing that he couldn't resist. He never did. Her tongue plundered his mouth, his familiar breath tasting of rum and sea water. She felt him moan, her hands tugging at the ties on his breeches.

And then suddenly Regina was awake. She moaned in frustration before realizing what had pulled her from her rather enjoyable dream. Fighting. Again. Was that all anyone did on this ship?

She listened through the wooden slats, hearing Rumplestiltskin for the first time in weeks. He usually kept to himself, so why was he raising his voice now? She stole a glance at Emma, who was still sleeping soundly, before she tiptoed from the room, latching the door quietly behind her. The voices were louder now.

"You can't do it, dearie," the familiar brogue with a laughing air startled her with its volume. She spun around, assuming he was speaking to her, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then she heard the second voice.

"But I have to!"

It was Snow White. This could be entertaining. Regina leaned against the wall and settled in for a good eavesdrop.

"It has to be his mother," Rumplestiltskin intoned.

"But I can't let her do that, it's too dangerous," Snow argued.

"Well you certainly can't do it," he went on, "you wouldn't want to put that little prince in harm's way."

"Prince?"

"Oops, did I give that away?" He laughed, knowing full well it wasn't a slip of the tongue.

"I won't let you distract me," Snow stated. "I won't let you use Emma as bait."

Regina stood in the hallway, suddenly realizing what this fight was about. Rumple had devised a trap, but he needed to lure Peter out. There were two things Peter loved- little boys and beautiful women. They were fresh out of the former, but this ship contained three of the latter. So why were they only talking about Emma and Snow?

"Use me," Regina stated, pushing into the room unexpectedly. "I know better than either of them how to entice a man, and I have plenty of ammunition to distract Greg and Tamara if I need to," she said, rubbing her hand across her lower abdomen.

"Yes," Rumple smiled, "Yes, you do." And he smiled, because once again he had the queen right where he wanted her.


End file.
